The Parsis in Colonies

This is a hilarious forward sent to us by dear family friend and regular Parsi Khabar reader Bakhtavar Mistry.

BE PROUD as After the the British colonies there is only the parsi colonies on which the sun never sets Because ……………

at 2 am old ladies are chasing stray dogs with sticks,

at 3 am somebody’s TV is loud enough to keep the watchmen awake,

at 4 am the granny’s wake up to pee,

at 5 am the doodhwala comes from ‘parsi’ dairy farm

at 6 am somebody takes 46 kicks to start the scooter

at 7 am the 3rd floor neighbor goes “piche ka side ko barabar se dhona, mein roj dekhta hu, tum aisa hi dutty kapda mar ke nikal jata hai” ….to the ‘gari dhowa walo’

at 8 am you hear a frantic mother shouting "mehernosh tu bhona no dabbo bhuligayo" running in a nighty, down the main street of the  bagh”

at 9 am someone starts playing chaiye ahme zartosti so loud that you are forced to agree that no1 else would cause such torture

at 10 am the ladies are clapping from balconies to call the ‘taja paplet kolmi walo’, n all such vendors

at 11 am the jobless, wifeless, TVless and hopeless ahdas come down with a war cry of mcbc gaars, to play cricket or volleyball

at 12 pm they break a glass

at 1 pm the fite is still on

at 2 pm the fite ends when the aromas from other people’s kitchens reminds them that stomach is mightier than the sword

at 3 pm the school kids are returning in a shrill argument over what happened in class, and by the stories you wonder if they even go to same school, (most probably they have sat next to each other all their life)

at 4 pm the old man’s club comes down for a walk and asks the silly obvious questions like “bajar laine aavi” , “office thi aavi”, “college thi aavi” to all aged women returning from anywhere, everyday

at 5 pm the old woman’s parade starts, where the auntys want to walk and the gangubai’s escorting them want to sit

at 6 pm the ‘chillar’ comes down to play (that’s what they used to call ppl below 12 when we used to go down, I believe now it is kidos)

at 7 pm the hero of the parsi colony arrives with ‘karak and naram’ options for all the ladies (the pavwala)

at 8 pm some aspiring Stuntbawa is practicing a willy with his bike and melodramatic teenage girls squealing louder than required

at 9 pm you can hear people saying bye to each other for an entire hour, as the gossip has no end

at 10 pm someone gets enough bones only for 1 stray dog, so the other dogs create a havoc

at 11 pm someone’s grandfather clock gongs out loud eleven times and by the time it stops you missed hearing the last part of your tv serial

at 12 pm the watchman has to show he is working and goes banging the stick

at 1 am some guys play loud music in a car, this time the guy on the 2nd floor wakes up, fights with the youngsters and threatens to call the police

you are peeping from the window to see the commotion, and when he goes in, the old lady thinks its the stray dogs barking again and comes out with a stick to chase them…

see the sun never sets on the parsi empire

So in true Mumbai style let’s say

Jai Parsirashtra !