Our fifth author in the Everyday Parsi 2025 series is Ava J. Patell
My husband and I come from families where the tradition was to do Muktad ceremonies only for the first year. Visiting the Agiary early in the morning was a fast trot down Altamont Road to the Bai Soonabai Hirji Agiary.
Entering the Agiary during Muktads is a very different experience. What is normally a hushed, mostly empty space is now lined with rows of tables holding karasyos. The flickering flames of the divos bounce off all the silver vases, and the heavy, intermingled fragrance of sandalwood, lobaan, roses, tuberose, and gladioli hangs in the air. People gently rustle past in special Agiary scarves and clothes. The snap and shake of kustis being retied across soft mul-mul sudras is almost constant. The sound of teams of Dasturjis praying at different speeds resonates throughout the Agiary, creating an almost visible vibration mixed with the flickering fires of the aferghaniyus.
We used to wait on the large wooden benches for our turn, with a bunch of flowers and sukhad in hand. As we followed the prayers and rituals, thoughts of all our loved ones would spring to mind. Surrounded by those united in remembrance, there was usually a certain lightening of spirit—a relief that no matter how deeply missed, those who have gone are never forgotten.
Nowadays, I enjoy seeing how much the old phulwallas outside the Agiary gate can jack up the rates for their roses before they get soundly told off by their customers.
Currently a grandmother to grandchildren of an understanding age, I use Google to explain our religion in greater detail to them. Some of the Zoroastrian sites need to be taken with a pinch of salt, but I do enjoy the arguments that go on.
I am glad I was born a Zoroastrian and have tried to make my children and grandchildren happy Zoros too. As long as you believe in Good Thoughts, Good Words, and Good Deeds, all will be well.
About Ava J. Patell
Ava grew up in Bandra and met her husband while training for nursing at that stalwart Parsi institution, the Parsi General Hospital. She worked on and off for several years until the kids and elders of her family kept her too busy for professional nursing.
Now a proud granny to four, she spends her days taking care of her family while sending Instagram reels to the grandkids and crossing her eyes in frustration while figuring out bank KYC forms.
Wow, Ava..read every word and loved the way you have described your visit to the Agiary….do keep writing